| A Backpacker's take on the Bud Commercials... (brought to you by backpackers that have way too much time on their hands, lol!) Here's to you, Mr Heavy Weight Hiker, you who shun the notion of ultra light hiking to the real men extreme. As the straps of your pack strain to carry it's 70 lbs of absolutely necessary gear, you smile with the knowledge that you'll feast like a king on Beenie Weenies tonight - from a can, while your sissy friends smear tuna on broken crackers. So here's to you, a hiker who can no longer stand upright without a pack on, knowing that you're just one massage away from hitting the trail again. Too bad you stink so much from no shower no therapist in their right mind will touch you. ~by Preacher bud light presents real american heroes (real american heroes) today we salute you mr. light backpacker (mr. light backpacker) never has one man traveled so far with so little. without you the trail would be worn harder (i need a lug sole now!) and just like you, i, too, would rather be light weight backpacking, fast backing with that tarp, with cloths, so off I go (I go) Hi ho, hi ho, so off i go. you know it brother (you know the truth) so crack open an ice cold bud light oh practitioner of light packing, thanks to you i know it's perfectly alright to jiggle and jangle in just soles. (honk) ~by Leafwalker bud light presents real men of genius (real men of genius) today we salute you mr. 6" cathole digger (mr. 6" cathole digger) With your little orange plastic trowel you boldly dig down 6 inches into the soil before you drop your convertible nylon pants (convertible nylon pants!) You maneauver around roots and rocks and dig deep down into organic soil (dig with your little orange trowel!) And then after you do your business you pack out your TP in double ziplock bags (LNT!) so crack open an ice cold bud light oh proper waste disposal person, thanks to you we don't have to see or smell your TP or poo (Ooooooo!) ~by me Here's to you, Mr. Pennsylvania trail builder. While other trails have views and vista, you make sure that OUR trails overlook nothing but the dense forest undergrowth. (Just keep on hiking!) And while some trails encourage people to keep their heads high and take in the scenery, you make sure that the rocks underfoot keeps the hikers' heads down. (It's where boots go to die!) Sure, you could put in a switchback...But a REAL trail goes straight up that 1000 feet of elevation. (My guts are bursting) So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr Pennsylvania trail maker. Because thanks to you, only in Pennsylvania would the drainage ditch be the trail. (Mr Pennsylvania Trail Maker) ~by Gearboy Bud Light Presents: Real Men of Genius (Real Men Of Genius) Today we salute you, "Mr. Duct Tape Around The Nalgene Bottle Inventor" (Mr. Duct Tape Around The Nalgene Bottle Inventor) Your entire life people have been telling you where to stick things. (Telling you where to stick things) Just carrying that roll of duct tape in your pack wasn't fashionable enough for you, you're on the cutting edge of technology. (Cutting edge of technology) Now when you break out that cool refreshing bottle of mountain stream H2O, people will ask: "Got a leak?" (Leaky nalgene bottle) So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light (without duct tape) Mr. Duct Tape Around The Nalgene Bottle Inventor, you've earned it. (Mr. Duct Tape Around The Nalgene Bottle Inventor) ~by Cloudwalker Bud Light Presents: Real Men of Genius (Real Men Of Genius) Today we salute you, Mr. Ultralight Alcohol Stove Maker (Mr. Ultralight Alcohol Stove Maker!) You spend countless hours carefully cutting cat food cans and punching holes in aluminum flashing (shiny aluminum flashing!) And then you painstainkingly design matching ultralight pot stands, windscreens, and stove snuffers (I love my stove snuffer!) Just so when you pull out your tiny Titanium pot with your stove and windscreen nestled inside people stand in awe of your genius (Stove Stomper Genius!) So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, Mr. Ultralight Alcohol Stove Maker, you've earned it. (Mr. Ultralight Alcohol Stove Maker) ~by me Here’s to you Mr Ultra-light Wanker, (Ooh Mr Ultra-light Wanker…) While other guys are using their toothbrush, you’re trying to find space to drill just one more hole. (I know there’s room for more….) You went from a tent, to a small tent, and now just sleep in a big trash bag, that then you use as your back-pack. (Yeah, it’s doin’ double duty…) You’ve made recycling a manufacturing process. Your stove, pot, and cup are all made from Bud Light cans. (gotta get it lighter….) So crack open a cold Bud Light, and know that you’ve made “strapless” more than just a fashion statement. (Mr Strapless Ultra-light Wanker) ~by RayEstrella Back to Backpacking Back to Tarol's Homepage |