A Backpacker's take on the
Bud Commercials...

(brought to you by backpackers that have way too much time on
their hands, lol!)

Here's to you, Mr Heavy Weight Hiker, you who shun the notion of
ultra light hiking to the real men extreme. As the straps of your
pack strain to carry it's 70 lbs of absolutely necessary gear, you
smile with the knowledge that you'll feast like a king on Beenie
Weenies tonight - from a can, while your sissy friends smear tuna
on broken crackers.

So here's to you, a hiker who can no longer stand upright without a
pack on, knowing that you're just one massage away from hitting
the trail again. Too bad you stink so much from no shower no
therapist in their right mind will touch you.

~by Preacher

bud light presents real american heroes
(real american heroes)
today we salute you mr. light backpacker
(mr. light backpacker)
never has one man traveled so far with so little. without you the
trail would be worn harder
(i need a lug sole now!)
and just like you, i, too, would rather be light weight backpacking,
fast backing with that tarp, with cloths, so off I go
(I go)
Hi ho, hi ho, so off i go. you know it brother
(you know the truth)
so crack open an ice cold bud light oh practitioner of light packing,
thanks to you i know it's perfectly alright to jiggle and jangle in
just soles.

~by Leafwalker

bud light presents real men of genius
(real men of genius)
today we salute you mr. 6" cathole digger
(mr. 6" cathole digger)
With your little orange plastic trowel you boldly dig down 6 inches
into the soil before you drop your convertible nylon pants
(convertible nylon pants!)
You maneauver around roots and rocks and dig deep down into
organic soil
(dig with your little orange trowel!)
And then after you do your business you pack out your TP in double
ziplock bags
so crack open an ice cold bud light oh proper waste disposal
person, thanks to you we don't have to see or smell your TP or poo

~by me

Here's to you, Mr. Pennsylvania trail builder.
While other trails have views and vista, you make sure that OUR
trails overlook nothing but the dense forest undergrowth.
(Just keep on hiking!)
And while some trails encourage people to keep their heads high
and take in the scenery, you make sure that the rocks underfoot
keeps the hikers' heads down.
(It's where boots go to die!)
Sure, you could put in a switchback...But a REAL trail goes straight
up that 1000 feet of elevation.
(My guts are bursting)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr Pennsylvania trail maker.
Because thanks to you, only in Pennsylvania would the drainage ditch
be the trail.
(Mr Pennsylvania Trail Maker)

~by Gearboy

Bud Light Presents: Real Men of Genius
(Real Men Of Genius)
Today we salute you, "Mr. Duct Tape Around The Nalgene Bottle
(Mr. Duct Tape Around The Nalgene Bottle Inventor)
Your entire life people have been telling you where to stick things.
(Telling you where to stick things)
Just carrying that roll of duct tape in your pack wasn't fashionable
enough for you, you're on the cutting edge of technology.
(Cutting edge of technology)
Now when you break out that cool refreshing bottle of mountain
stream H2O, people will ask: "Got a leak?"
(Leaky nalgene bottle)
So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light (without duct tape) Mr. Duct
Tape Around The Nalgene Bottle Inventor, you've earned it.
(Mr. Duct Tape Around The Nalgene Bottle Inventor)

~by Cloudwalker

Bud Light Presents: Real Men of Genius
(Real Men Of Genius)
Today we salute you, Mr. Ultralight Alcohol Stove Maker
(Mr. Ultralight Alcohol Stove Maker!)
You spend countless hours carefully cutting cat food cans and
punching holes in aluminum flashing
(shiny aluminum flashing!)
And then you painstainkingly design matching ultralight pot stands,
windscreens, and stove snuffers
(I love my stove snuffer!)
Just so when you pull out your tiny Titanium pot with your stove and
windscreen nestled inside people stand in awe of your genius
(Stove Stomper Genius!)
So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, Mr. Ultralight Alcohol Stove
Maker, you've earned it.
(Mr. Ultralight Alcohol Stove Maker)

~by me

Here’s to you Mr Ultra-light Wanker,
(Ooh Mr Ultra-light Wanker…)
While other guys are using their toothbrush, you’re trying to
find space to drill just one more hole.
(I know there’s room for more….)
You went from a tent, to a small tent, and now just sleep in a big
trash bag, that then you use as your back-pack.
(Yeah, it’s doin’ double duty…)
You’ve made recycling a manufacturing process. Your stove,
pot, and cup are all made from Bud Light cans.
(gotta get it lighter….)
So crack open a cold Bud Light, and know that you’ve made â
€œstraplessâ€� more than just a fashion statement.
(Mr Strapless Ultra-light Wanker)

~by RayEstrella

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